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Not belonging, not being the property of another isnot being alive it is existing.I believe in past lives. I do! How else could you possibly explain mydesire to submit to the neighborhood girls when I was only 7 or 8? Howelse do you explain thoughts in my head at age 12 or 13 I should get onhormones now, when I knew nothing about such things? Yes I have been aslave before. I have found comfort there like many of you. It is where Ifeel the best, like many of you! But we all feel the pressure ofsociety, and the desire to run back to what to the media and the worldtells us should be our role. I am hoping that from my story you take onething away: That is to embrace your desires with complete acceptance.You are fortunate; you know what speaks to your soul, and this cynicalworld of fakes and frauds you are lucky! Do you know how many have noidea what they need?Back to the task I have been instructed to perform, telling you my story.Please grab a seat belt, or at least some tissue. "I hugged her. "Then let's go to sleep. You can tell me tomorrow." I can't tell you tomorrow, either." When?" I don't know." She was quiet for a second. And then she wept on my shoulder, but delicately, almost inaudibly.I held her close, rubbing her back and shoulders. I asked myself: Is crying and weeping by these two women going to be a daily occurrence? I kissed her hair and her neck, and she whimpered.After a moment she relaxed and said, her voice thick and tired after crying, "Okay. Let's go to bed. I'm sick of thinking. I'm just sick of it."I lay awake for a while, wondering what the hell was going on with her. I figured she should be getting her period soon. Maybe that was it. There was too much going on in my own head to keep fretting about all the other heads around me. I was making progress; but progress toward what?I slept until after eight on Saturday and then had another good run. Martha was still in bed when I got back. I was pleased to see her stretch and smile.
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